You NEED to write a blog!

I can't tell you how many times in my life I've heard "You NEED to write a blog!" but the thing is - no, no I don't. I don't NEED to do anything of that sort. In fact, the last thing I ever wanted to do was to BE a Photographer, much less one who was writing a blog. I tried for over a decade to fight it , but here I am. Fair warning, I write for myself, not for consistency so if you're looking for a weekly, monthly or regular post - you're going to be sorely disappointed!

More on my photography journey....

In my early days of shooting, I shot anything and everything. The towering bridge at Solomon's Island? Shot it. Chesapeake Bay; shot it, Ducks on the North Beach Boardwalk? Shot it. The Car Show in Ocean City; shot it. Christmas trees, frozen branches, swamps...people, ah yes even people! I had a son and daughter from my first marriage so they were definitely (quite often) the subject of many of my torturous beginnings. I've got photos of everything from ferris wheels, to flamingos, but what I didn't have was a reason to keep shooting. Somewhere around 2011-2012 I put down my camera and focused on the BIG DAY; my wedding. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret putting down my camera (well maybe a little bit), what I actually regret is not realizing that my lifelong passion for Photography had grown cold. I didn't realize that what I truly long for was a reason to keep shooting. I was bored with my skill level, bored with my subjects (sorry flamingos), and with wedding planning, upgrading to nicer equipment wasn't on my radar. I simply didn't forge on with my desire to shoot. Looking back, my lack of enthusiasm was probably that I hadn't yet realized what my focus was. By shooting everything, my passion felt diluted. So with that and wedding planning, I put my camera down for a while. Now in fairness I should mention that I was working 7 days a week so that hubby and I didn't begin our marriage swimming in wedding debt. On weekends I was a bartender at a pool, which was incredible since I got to wear a bikini to work. I did this for about 4 years every Memorial Day weekend to Labor Day weekend. (I do recall taking off ONE weekend). So needless to say, even if I wanted to keep shooting through the madness of wedding planning, time was scarce, so I just didn't. The wedding day came and went...but new adventures were in the cards because as the story goes, I got pregnant on our wedding night; SURPRISE! As you can imagine, my priorities once again shifted. The next 2 years were a whirlwind. Two babies in 18 months, but both were preemies born at 29 weeks. They were both high-risk pregnancies, both of them requiring antepartum stays. I had never even heard of the term "antepartum" until I was living in a hospital. 12 days with the first preemie, 7 weeks with the second (but who's counting...). I'm going to pretty much skip over most of this for now as well as the next 4.5 years, because I'll write about it in other blog posts - but basically - here I am! I'm the busy mother of 4, running a photography business. I'm running a business that I said I never should, writing a blog I said I never would, shooting weddings, that I swore I never could!

All of these "never" should, would, could's have become my life because I didn't dig my heels in too firmly, and I've allowed myself to reevaluate life as it comes. I've learned to not listen to myself of the past. I've had to push through all the times I've had that "a ha!" moment long after everyone else, and not worry about the "I told you so". Seriously, my husband encouraged me to do this 8 years ago and always saw my potential, but I wasn't ready for it. Now I'm in the place where I'm ready for it, and that's gotta count for something. Most of all I'd like to close this "blog post" with a THANK YOU for all of you who have told me over and over (and over) that I would be an amazing photographer. Fr all of those who encouraged me to write a blog and for everyone who knew many things about me before I even knew them myself. You're my people!! It's amazing to be surrounded by people who are willing to lift me up, but give me space to recognize the potential that you see in me. Anyone can have a goal, but for me it's always been important to line that goal with the confidence to know I can succeed. Just know that I'm not doing it because you want me to! <grin> I'm doing it because I feel ready. I write because I genuinely enjoy writing (and talking; I'm long-winded), I shoot because I love it, and I am chasing the dreams you had for me because I'm finally ready.

Okay, I suppose *part* of me is trying to quiet the masses from the sentiment "WRITE A BLOG! ahhh! Alright already;okay YOU WIN, I'm writing one! Are ya'll happy now? Dang. P.S. - If this is my only blog post ever I can at least check this off of my bucketlist! Yay me! Update, I wrote more than one. ha ha! Here are some of the photos from my "early days" of Photography. I warned you, it's rather random. As you can see, I still love bold bright vibrant photos and the occasional black and white!

Just don't stalk my Facebook page from that era; lots of bad stuff in there! Can we say heavy vignetting and selective coloring? Yikes! What was I thinking??